"I choose it for me."

I told myself to wait until we went to the beach at the end of the month, but I couldn't wait and started reading Train Like a Mother: How to Get Across Any Finish Line -and Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity by Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea(SBS) a few days ago. I love it because the chapters are short enough to finish one before someone needs me and long enough that I feel like I really gained a bit of something. All the added snippets mean I can pick up anywhere after someone (read - PT) takes out my bookmark and find a quick gem of knowledge.

Today I was into the second chapter and I read something that made me put down the book and write this post. I was immediately inspired and reaffirmed about my whole goal. Warmth spread through me as I read Dimity's words and I was amazed how her declaration spoke so clearly to me. "I choose it for me." 


I did it. For me. I made the choice to put me first. That seeming small action has produced such a hugely wonderful change in me and my life. Something so simple. A choice. Not an easy choice, it has taken more work then I thought I had time for. Not a one time choice, every day the same choice presents itself albeit a touch differently sometimes. But a good choice, a smart choice, a healthy choice? Yes. And you would be hard pressed to find a moving mom who speaks to the contrary.

Running has done more for me in these past eight and a half months then I would had thought possible.  In one of my earliest MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) meetings,a mom mentioned that when the kids nap, she only does things for her. Selfish? A little. Greedy? Maybe. Necessary? Most definitely. Of course I tried it, and I still do, but the time that I got the most out of nap-time/me-time was when I started working out on the Wii after PT was born. Somewhere I lost that, but I've found it again in running. Me-time. 

If you are on the fence about me-time, Dimity says it better then I can:

"If it sounds like training is self-centered and narcissistic, it completely is. But if you're like 95 percent of the mothers out there, you deserve-and are in definite need of-some me time. And in case it feels too greedy, consider this argument: If you are the linchpin of your family, you need to be healthy enough to fulfill your duties. You must take care of yourself, because, the sad truth is, nobody else is going to take care of you. Plus, if you're dragging and sad and bitter-which you might be if you're always last on your list-your emotional state will negatively affect your house and family."

For along time, I felt, and often told my husband, I was the bottom of the totem pole all the time. I was of the opinion that my needs and wants didn't mean much and I would find myself stuck in a downhill sprint of feeling down on me while tending to everyone else's needs. Putting in some miles, sweat, pain, and, most valuably, time has made me feel healthier. Not only physically, because I can run MILES (yup, plural) without intense effort, but mentally I am stronger. The relief of only focusing on me has increase my patience though out the day. Which as a mom, is vital and invaluable.

As moms it is easy to feel responsible for everyone and everything all the time. When a chip falls out of place and the tower comes crashing down we can feel completely responsible, regardless of if it is in anyway our fault or of our control. I know I do, often. The feeling that we should always be in control of the situation with our kids, our spouse, the state of the house, the dog, the weather (sometimes we can be a bit unreasonable, no?) can be overwhelming. Getting a good sweat on during some me-time helps me to let go of all of it, if just for a little while. A chance to allow myself to surrender to the idea that I am worth my time. And my time is valuable. But I am worth it. In my surrender, I have found a peace I didn't think possible and is still a struggle to find some days. It is coming easier though. And it's easiest to find after a long, uninterrupted morning run. 

Wanna be a Runner?

When I first considered this whole running idea, I did what, I think, most other people do. I googled it. I googled barefoot running, running clothes (because that is an easily attainable aspect of running; I might not be fast, but I look good doing it, well at least my clothes look good,) an easy running diet (an easy diet...right,) running moms, and I tried to find a running group in the area. In one of my many nap-time searches, I happened upon Another Mother Runner. This is a site produced by two moms, Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea(SBS), who have created an amazing virtual environment for moms who hit the pavement. Along with the website, they have penned two books (more on one of them later,) raise their voices on a podcast, and you can follow them both on twitter.

At first, I was intimidated by this group of running women. Sure, none of them knew anything about me and I knew nothing about them. But they were runners and I wasn't. In my mind, I wasn't even close. Dimity and SBS seemed so far ahead of me on the race track that it was overwhelming and I honestly, didn't think I would ever be able to relate. I even downloaded the sample of Run Like a Mother: How to Get Moving -and Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity, but I just felt that I was so different from them. They're fast, I'm slow; they're fit, I'm flabby; they're (insert desired adjective here), I'm the opposite. I wasn't ready to accept that "I can do this, I can be a runner." So I kept the website in the back of my mind to check later if this running thing was something I actually enjoyed doing. 

Fast forward to the ZOOMA Half and 10K a month ago. This 10K was to be my sixth race of the year. Half way through my race a month all year and I finally felt ready. I had finished my first half the month before and I was really beginning to feel like a runner. The Another Mother Runner ladies were giving a talk at packet pick-up that I was ready to hear. I found myself entranced by these to women who, just the idea of them, had intimidated me just months before. As I listened, I felt myself understanding and relating to so many of their stories. I remembering thinking "I can be like them, I am like them." 

Before I left the mini-expo, I picked up a copy of their new book, Train Like a Mother: How to Get Across Any Finish Line -and Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity and they were both so gracious to sign it for me. As I said my name "with an H" like I always do, Dimity added "that's the only way, right?" as she glanced at SBS and we all chuckled. 

The next morning at the race I fell in beside Dimity and Cynthia. (Read all about Cynthia's amazing story here.) They were both running the half, but I ran with them until the 10K turn around. My only goal for the 10K was to run the whole thing. And thanks to Dimity and Cynthia in the beginning I did.

The group of "runners" seemed to be such an elite group before getting out there and setting my feet on the pavement. I know I'm not fast by any stretch, but I can see improvements. When I look back at where I was when I started, I am amazed and proud of my progress. Running has become something I enjoy, I look forward too, and I crave terribly when I miss more then one.

I recently heard a quote: "The difference between a runner and a jogger is a runner has a race number." I may not win any races, I might be towards the back of the pack, and I might even stop to walk (once, twice, ok fine, a handful of times,) but I am a runner. I have joined the group. And when I pin on my next racing bib, I hope to remember to run my own race at my own pace and that will be a big win.

A Toilet Tale

I just found this gem as I was going through some old documents. This was written as an entry for some sweepstakes by a bathroom related object a little over a year and a half ago. Enjoy!

Sure, my one-year-old likes to eat toilet paper. And yes, she thinks the water in the toilet is her own personal pool. But this toilet tale is not about her. My three-year-old has a mini-toilet in his room to use at nap and at night. One day, during naptime, I heard a lot of movement upstairs. I went up to discover, yes he used the potty, but he was completely naked, the floor buried in pooped covered wipes and the poop was nowhere to be found. I asked him where it was and he told me “I put it outside.” Wondering what he really meant, I cleaned up the mess and put him back to bed. When he woke up from his nap, I was met in the room by a wave of stench. I hunted through the room for the source of the smell while my son kept repeating, “Mom, the poop is outside.” After one last sweeping look of the room, I noticed a small spot on the window frame between the frame and the AC unit. I opened the window to find, my son was telling the truth. Squeezed through the gap, the poop was outside.


So you can see just how adorable they were a year and a half ago:

PT at 1

The Politician at 3

 I could write a book on PT and toilet related tales...

National Running Day Fun!

Last Wednesday was National Running Day and the kiddos and I went out in the morning to do a lap or two at our local park.

The Politician has really started enjoying he "big kid bike" now that he's about an inch taller and he had a blast racing on the flat trails. Any time there was an hill he would get off and push it up or raise his feet in the air over the pedals and run smack into a tree. He really enjoyed himself.

On the paved trail and loving it!

She's ready to go!

PT is a whole different biking story. She is learning how to use the tricycle and amidst the "I can't" and "will you push me?" she has figured out how to go backwards pretty well. She ended up running along side me and the Enforcer instead. She either wanted to hold my hand or hold onto her brother's which did not help me steer the stroller very well.

Beautiful day!

Here's a lovely like poem for you about our NRD adventure:

As a celebration,

(And to kick off summer fun)

my little ones and I,

We all went out for a run.

The oldest he prefers,

Riding fast by on his bike,

And it’s some wheels as well,

For the youngest little tyke.

My little lady, well,

Like mom, enjoys a good run,

We all had quite the day

Lots of racing in the sun!

I was entering for a chance to win a neat pair of compression shorts (with ice pack pockets for post run) and wrote the poem as my entry. I let you know if I win! (Today is the last day to enter. Click here for a chance!)

I love the baby swinging pictures.

Of course since we were at the park, we had to hit up the playground before we left! The Enforcer LOVES the swings. Just like his brother and sister!

He was pushing both of them!

6 down 6 to go (aka ZOOMA Women's Race)

Thanks to the huge storm on Friday, the weather for Saturday's ZOOMA Half Marathon and 10K (I ran the 10K) was amazing! Bright skies, low humidity, temperature between 60 - 70, and even a nice light breeze sometimes. Wonderful racing weather.

I have been looking forward to this race for months and I was not disappointed! The atmosphere at the start was amazing. All the ladies (and a gent here and there) were pumped to be there and the energy in and around the crowd was fantastic. Music was pumping and we all whooped and hollered as the race started right on time! Go ladies!

The top of my head and the crowd behind me at the start!

As good as they were, the picturesque course, the crowd camaraderie and the close-to-perfect weather were not the most amazing part of the race. When the crowd began to thin out a bit, I fell in beside, Dimity of Another Mother Runner fame. (I had met her the day before the packet pickup/ ZOOMA Marketplace (mini expo) where I was able to pick up their book Train Like a Mother: How to Get Across Any Finish Line - and Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity.) She was running the half with a new found friend, Cynthia, who has an amazing story. I was privileged and honored to learn more about her, her family (Marine husband and 3 young boys) and her fight with cancer, thyroid (which has just come back) and cervical. She is an amazingly strong, inspirational woman and I found myself captivated by her words as we ran along the streets of Annapolis. Her infectous attitude was one of determination, refusal to give in and acceptance. Running along and hearing her story, it was impossible to worry about being tired or sore. Her strength and power to fight was in every step and I am proud to say I shared a few steps next to her on the road. Thank you. (She noted that she has a blog and I'll be doing a little searching to find it. Here it is!)

Great Tree Lined Street. Check out that crowd!

Main Street Annapolis.
(You can see Cynthia in the teal
and Dimity in the blue with the white hat.)

View from on top of the Naval Academy Bridge

The course was well laid out and full of views of beautiful Annapolis. Running down the brick main street, up and over the Naval Academy Bridge, with a start/finish at Navy Stadium meant for a few arm-swinging uphill pushes followed by gentle downhill relief. As we continued along, I realized we had run parts of the course during some of our training runs. It was nice to recognize a spot here and there. The race founder and director, Brae Blackley, had told a group of us a day before at the expo that it is difficult to get the Naval Academy bridge closed to traffic. The view is worth it! I'm glad I slowed down a little bit to take it in.

My only critique of the course is that the 10K turn around wasn't marked clearly enough. If you missed the volunteers pointing at the spot between the cones or didn't see other 10kers making the turn, it would be easy to miss. My sister was at the finish and heard a woman who was planning to run the 10K, but finished the 13.1 miles of the half marathon because she missed the turn around. Way to keep pushing sister! You must have been in the zone!

Navy Stadium

My youngest sister, we'll call her the Tumbler, came with me to the race, bright and early on her Saturday, to volunteer. She worked at the Gear Check before the race and she handed out our finishers necklaces at the finish line. (AH, I forgot to get a picture of us...nuts) Speaking of the necklace, I really like it! It's simple, easy, and so lightweight I forget it's on until the Enforcer tries to stick it in his mouth. The back simply says "ZOOMA 2012."I really love the idea of a necklace over a medal for race finishers. Sure a medal is great and it reminds me of my accomplishment when I catch a glimpse of it hanging of my diploma frame, this necklace is something I can proudly wear! (Water and bananas were available after the finish also. The Tumbler helped set that up too!)

The after race party wasn't quite what I expected. I was hoping for some really pumping, grooving music, but I think I came though while the band was on a little break. I also couldn't find the wine stand my first time through. The Muscle Milk area was a nice surprise. They had mats laid out on the ground with cylinder rollers to massage your muscles. On every mat was your very own Muscle Milk work out towel, I might be a little to excited to take mine with me to the gym this week. I went to get my boxed lunch which included a container of chicken salad (or hummus if you so chose,) pita slices, an apple, a pack of carrots and a bottle of water. Quite a nice race perk! My only addition would be a little piece of chocolate, that would have made it perfect. (Luckily, I brought a Dark Chocolate Almond Milk along with me for after the race so I got my chocolate fix!) My lunch and I walked over to there finish line so I could watch while I refueled. I was able to see and cheer on the first half marathon finisher. This made me more excited then I thought it would! I'm glad I finished the 10K before half marathoners crossed the line. That gave me a little extra boost!

Right before the finish line is a bit of a hill, so I stationed myself right at the top to cheer the racers on to the finish. This was almost more fun then the race itself. That little extra push and kick they had when they saw that finish line made me so excited!
 I got a few smiles and a few waves and even a fist pump from a fellow Hokie. (I was able to see Cynthia and Dimity cross the finish around 2:30!) As more racers finished, the crowd around the finish line dwindled to just a few of us. I took this as an opportunity to cheer louder and more enthusiastically. I know when I passed cheerers on the course it always gives me a little extra boost. I hope I gave a little boost to someone too.

When the time got closer to 3:30 (the course closing time,) I decided to check out the rest of the after race expo. Sadly, a few of the booths were closing up and they were all out of wine. One of the aspects I was looking forward to and I missed out! No wine for me. I was planning on getting a massage too, but some how I missed that area.

Ok, some stats:
I ran the 10K in 1:09:23 for a 11:10 minute mile pace. Out of 1,433 10Kers, I came in 806th and out of 219 in my age group, 25-29, I was 145th. After the race, the Tumbler said she wants to run the race next year. I think I can convince her to do the half with me!

I like the little hair wisp I have here.

Things I learned from my first 10K and women's race:

1. I really need to leave a bottle of sunscreen in my car. The second I smelled someone else putting it on I realized I forgot it. Blast. 
2. There is something about a women's race atmosphere that is so much more relaxed. The race felt almost easy, though I pushed myself harder then I did in training runs, but it was like running with a big group of new friends. I'm definitely signing up for next year.
3. Get there early if you want wine. We ladies do love some good wine.
4. LOVED stretching mats being available. Especially, since I missed the massage area. I got a great stretch in while my muscles were still warm. 
5. Cheering on other racers has become a new favorite. After the race this weekend, I've been thinking I should find out if there is a race who wants help organizing cheering groups along the course. (If you are a with race and are interested I would love to talk to you about possibilities!!) Though, I need to come up with a few new lines. "You've got this" and "push it to the finish" seem over used after an hour or so of cheering. 

All in all a really fun, beautiful (the course and the crowd,) and inspirational (thanks Cynthia!) race. I can't wait until next year!

PS. After hitting up the Annapolis Greek Festival for lunch and many desserts (I earned them after a race right??) we decided to go to Six Flags for a few hours. When we got there we heard the new coaster, Apocalypse, is open to season pass holders. At first I was impressed, from how the site was laid out (nice job McCrone!), to the sleek lines of the track and the adjustable heights on the ride seats. But as we started out on the ride, I was quickly reminded why I am not a big fan of standing coasters. My head just seems to bounce around to much for me to enjoy the ride. I'll probably be skipping that one next time.

A mist sprayer at the park
I'm keeping this picture for when I need a pick me up.
You are welcome to use it too! :)